Adventures in Autism

FATHERHOOD is the greatest joy a man can hope to achieve in his lifetime. Through time, all else will perish, but your children will carry on your legacy forever. I still remember the first time that I held my oldest daughter, Amber, in my arms. Her beautiful eyes glimmered back at me as her smile filled the room. A feeling of overwhelming love and joy filled my heart and has never been empty since. Through the years, the Lord has blessed with me two more daughters, Hope and Sara. They poured more joy into my aging heart and renewed me as if I swam in the fountain of youth. Together, the three daughters make up the charmed ones. Each of them has a magical hold over their mother and I, and together they explain every strand of grey hair in my head. Tried and tested, the experience that my wife and I gained raising the charmed ones has turned us into old pros. We can raise girls any day of the week and twice on Sunday. We have seen and conquered every step in their development, although with each new female came a new set of tricks. My wife and I could have co-written many a tale about raising daughters and would put ourselves up against any parent in that arena. We thought we knew it all, until the day my son was born. Peter Anthony LaPorta Jr. was born June 15th, 2004. On that day, God reached out his hands and placed that boy into the unknowing arms of Angel and I. We thought; since it was number four that it would be a walk in the park. It was old hat. How could a boy be that much different? He should bring similar experiences that we had already gone through, right? We could not have been more wrong. In his early days, Peter Jr. had many natural behaviors that can be chalked up to the differences between boys and girls. Although all of those occurrences will be discussed later in the book, it is important to take the proper viewpoint from the beginning. Peter was a normal functioning, playful, infant that was full of life. Even though he was different than raising our daughters, he was still a child that had the same developmental needs as any other baby brought into this world. We had no idea how short the time was going to be before we lost him into a great abyss. At eighteen months, Peter Jr., was given a series of vaccinations including his MMR (Measles, Mumps, and Rubella) shot. Like a light switch that became jammed in the off position, Pete shut down. His words were gone. His focus was gone. Pete was gone. At first, we thought that he was having a reaction to the pain medication he was given to ease the vaccination period. We were sadly mistaken. Years later, Peter has still not returned to us. As parents of a special needs child, we exist in a world that can only be truly understood if you experience it. All the training in the world cannot prepare you for the changes in your life. As veteran parents, we thought that we had seen and done it all in regards to our children. We quickly came to understand that most of the daily activities we had with our other kids were taken for granted. Any parent of a special needs child has a plethora of stories that would both horrify and fill you with joy and delight for the human spirit. What they cannot share with you are the every day activities that never come to pass. If your child is special needs, you may or may not ever get to see them in a school play. You will probably never get the opportunity to see your child as the star quarterback or the pitcher that throws a perfect game. Simple pleasures such as watching a quiet movie in a theater or taking your child to see the ballet always seem beyond possibility. For some, even the primary functions of reading, writing or conversing will never come to reality. What all parents of children within the Autism Spectrum can share with you is their heightened appreciation for human emotion. The reason for this lies in the fact that there is nothing simple, basic, or normal in the life of an Autistic child. Like scenes from a science fiction or fantasy book, each action or reaction has an alternate reality in the Autistic world. You think you are self conscious until you walk into the grocery store or a shopping mall with your non verbal child and every eye is upon you because he uses moans and screams to communicate. You think you have experienced fear until the day when your Autistic son escapes the confines of your house; you spend the next 45 minutes in absolute horror until a police helicopter finds him many blocks away. You think you have experienced joy and euphoria until the day when your special needs child can actually tell you “I love you” and you can see comprehension in their eyes. You think you understand helplessness until the day when your Autistic child appears before you with their finger cut off and you have no idea where the rest of it is, how the tragedy occurred, or what you can do to sooth his pain and shock. You think you know embarrassment until your special needs child throws food at another table in a crowded restaurant. You think you are humble until your autistic child greets a house full of people buck naked and runs laughing through the crowd. You think you understand frustration until your special needs child bangs their head against the wall because they can’t tell you what they want to eat or drink. You think you appreciate the sound of silence until the moment your autistic child falls asleep. You think you understand anger until you pick up your non-verbal child from school and there are bruises all over him, which he cannot tell you how they got there. You think you have seen ignorance until you hear a stranger whisper about your misbehaving (autistic) child that needs a good spanking. You think you have seen courage until you see the family with not one, but multiple children on the Autism Spectrum. You think you have faith in God until the day you wake up and realize He has trusted you to care for one of His special children. As the father of an Autistic child, I have experienced all of these emotions and many more. With every parent comes a different experience, a different viewpoint, a different story to share. In the pages ahead, you will read about many children and their families. Some of the stories will delight and amaze you. Others will captivate your heart. All of them should open your eyes to a world that is unknown to most, but one that is rapidly exploding. At the current time, the statistics are staggering. 1 percent of the United States population ages 3-17 are on the autism spectrum. The birth rate, once believed to be 1 in 10,000 children being affected has grown to an alarming 1 in 91 births worldwide (1 in 110 in the United States). Some countries are estimating that the annual cost to their economy due to Autism is over $100 billion a year. It is said that in ten years, that annual cost will rise to $200-400 billion. For every 58 boys that are born, one of them will be afflicted with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. For girls, that number is 1 in every 200. What that means for you, the average reader, is a guarantee that someone in your family, your extended family or your friendship circle will be affected with Autism. The luxury of walking through life with blinders on while Autism occurs in dark corners has long past. Autism has infiltrated our lives, our schools, the playgrounds and parks, and every corner of life in America. Once you take off your rose colored glasses it becomes all too clear to see. In the pages that follow, we will try to take those glasses off together. This book is filled with stories of wonderful families that have been impacted by Autism. As you will soon determine, each child has an individual story, a different life to be embraced, a different place on the spectrum. Their connection is that they have all been blessed God’s chosen children.